For my homework, sometimes I get to go on weekend-long hiking trips through the lowlands away from school. This particular friday I was in a hurry and packed almost no food. By Sunday I was rather hungry, and miles from a dumpster. By lashing my knife to a branch, and lying motionless in the shallow stream for hours, (hurray for GoreTex) I was able to bag enough venison to not only feed me, but also fill my pack for those cozy evenings back in the dorm, when I have a hankering for some good steaks, grilled on the heatsink of my roommate's sound system, a device I have been thankful for since the passing of Sir Heater.
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For my homework, sometime I get to go on weekend-long hiking trips through the lowlands away from school. This particular friday I was in a hurry and packed almost no food. By Sunday I was rather hungry, and miles from a dumpster. By lashing my knife to a branch, and lying motionless in the shallow stream for hours, (hurray for GoreTex) I was able to bag enough venison to not only feed me, but also fill my pack for those cozy evenings back in the dorm, when I have a hankering for some good steaks, grilled on the heatsink of my roommate's sound system, a device I have been thankful for since the passing of Sir Heater.
Consider the creatures of the field. I say to you that even Kevin in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
One of the requirements for my major is to be able to track proficiently. A few months ago a guy down the hall had a run-in with, he thought, a dog and had to replace various parts on the front of his cruiser. I took a small sample of the hair and had it anaylized by my roomates girlfriend who is a forensic major. She determined the critter to be a male deer of the larger variety. This led me on a 35 mile, 15 township, 3 county search which consumed most of my time the last few months. Often delayed by weather and other homework I finaly located the suspect, thanks to a sketch provided by campus security. Unfortuantly, he resisted arrest and I had to use my Ion-destructuring wray gun on loan from the engineering dept at LeTourneau. The suspect did not survive long enough to be questioned. This is a picture of me and the aprehended.
In my studies, I have long admired the sayings of Deeristotle. This great animal philosopher revolutionized the concepts of environmentalism, forestry, and respect for our fellow creatures. Deeristotle has served as the only animal advisor to three presidents and Dr. Dobson (although Dobson never listened), as well as amassing followers from all walks of life. His sayings have been translated into over 80 different languages.
Sadly, this esteemed philosopher was assasinated recently by Poison Hemlock. After the mourning season had passed, I went to the grave in the dark of night and exhumed his body, intending to take his skull home to have on my desk, the way they do with great philosophers. I never had my picture taken with him in life, but here is one with him as he appears now. Long live the truths of the great Deeristotle!
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