The couch potato fitness program

It Could Change Your Life!

Dr. Atkins led millions to and from obesity with his breakthrough "Atkins Diet". People's weight changed by doing what they love: eating meat. What a hero! Now that he has died from a heart attack we should all celebrate a date as "Atkins day". Maybe everyone could have off work to have family gatherings. Grilling could be the main event, but only meat that doesn't require a carb filled bun. I suggest we celebrate on April the first.

And now, after that introduction, I present my very own fitness program "The couch potato fitness program". After some in depth research and careful feild testing I have tailored this program to apeal to the group that I call "the couch potato". Most people on the CPFP have two desires: First, they want to get in shape. And secondly, they want to watch less TV. With my program they will accomplish both (or at least one) and come out looking better.

Here is how it works. You can watch as much TV as you want. Every time there is a comercial break, you drop down and do ten pushups. Its that simple. Generally you will do 60-70 pushups an hour. Within a day you will be feeling different and have a strong desire to change your TV viewing habits. I do allow one exception. When viewing TV in public places or at other people's homes you do not need to do pushups.

The program works. I have been watching the tube much less the last three weeks and feel much stronger. Yesterday I actually had two middle aged women say to me "you can be our bouncer" as we walked out of the court house downtown.

So there you have it folks! Better TV habits, a ripped body, and soccer moms all in three weeks!



Coming soon:
- Why I am no longer a "Mennonite"
-My thoughts about being on a Jury during a criminal trial