Basic Survival

For my homework, sometimes I get to go on weekend-long hiking trips through the lowlands away from school. This particular friday I was in a hurry and packed almost no food. By Sunday I was rather hungry, and miles from a dumpster. By lashing my knife to a branch, and lying motionless in the shallow stream for hours, (hurray for GoreTex) I was able to bag enough venison to not only feed me, but also fill my pack for those cozy evenings back in the dorm, when I have a hankering for some good steaks, grilled on the heatsink of my roommate's sound system, a device I have been thankful for since the passing of Sir Heater.

Terror and Panic: I almost died.

For me it is fundamentally terrifying to be inside something that is underwater. If it ever happened, I would panic. As soon as the water closed in reason would flee and my body would fight the walls in a vain hope of oxygen.

And so, I’ve decided to face my fear.

The first time I sat in a kayak it took me almost two minuets to wiggle my legs and hips down into the boat. The whole time the little devil of my fear sat on my shoulder screaming “YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!” Somehow, deep inside, I agreed with him. The two life guards on the side of the pool were a bit reassuring, except that when I was upside-down they wouldn’t’ be able to see me struggling against my plastic grave.

My kayak was in the water now. Charlie, my instructor, told me “just roll under water and pull the skirt off the boat and swim out.” The voice on my shoulder whispered: “You are going to run out of air before you even get out of the boat.” I squeezed my eyes closed trying to ignore the voice; then I rolled to the right.

The water that closed around me was a suffocating blanket. It poured into my nostrils-a violent army overtaking my lungs. My mind panicked. I thought of those lifeguards on the edge of the pool, too far away to save me. Half drowned I realized the voice from my shoulder had been right. Why hadn’t I listened to him back on the concrete? Why didn’t I just stay in my room and study tonight? I didn’t want to die! Charlie wasn’t going to save me; he didn’t want to interfere with my learning the basics. I was about to black out. I had to do something! My hand tried the one thing that that Charlie had said to do. The release cord was only 18inches away, but it took my half drowned mind an eternity in the upside-down wet darkness to find it. The last thing I remember was pulling the cord.

Standing in the pool next to my boat I realized that the life guard’s conversation hadn’t progressed more than a few sentences. Charlie’s “good job! Ready to roll with a paddle?” insinuated that I hadn’t been under for more than five seconds.

There are some striking similarities between my pool experience and my faith experience. For me, trusting God can be like that first roll. I’m sure it couldn’t possibly end well. But I do it. I take the plunge. And when things workout I come back to God, who stands there like Charlie, encouraging me to try something even harder.

Pictures of life: Mine, your's, and maybe a critter's or two

A grave yard where Sarah and I started dating.

Cute, but it's what's for dinner

It's a poodle pup

This is a walk and wall combo I built this fall.

My mom loves Christmas gifts

Your very own: Kevin

Where I come from the women (in this case Anita) carry guns

He doesn't bite, I promise.

Boni-our very own american gothic

Samuel

People say that Joella is more like me than any of my siblings. I don't deny it.

My dad and a goat

Smackdown! and Platonism

I’ve joined the club. The HWF. W stands for wrestling, F stands for federation, and you can guess what the H stands for. I make my amateur Pro Wrestling debut this Thursday night pending my ability to get an outfit. I go by “Category 5” and will be joining the guys in our mattress arena on 2^nd East. Last week we had a smashing performance in which the Natural Hazard was “knocked out” by the new guy Too Cool A.J. Hawk. It was a real shame. I was rooting for the Natural Hazard. And after his jump off of the lounge table onto Shadow Dragon I thought he was untouchable. But a whack with the wet floor sign changed all that.

On the other end of my life, I’m trying to prepare for a test. I hate essay tests. The teachers always give you a bunch of questions and you have to prepare for them all. I wish they could do it orally; I’d do so much better. So now I’m trying to relate platonic thought to themes from Lewis’s book. It’s not such a bad thing, except that it is 70 degrees out and I’m dying to get out.

Dieing: families at a time.

Right now there are 3.5 million people in Kenya whose food supply is about to expire. The reason? Drought. That number grows to 11 million when you add Ethiopia, Somalia, Uganda, and some from Tanzania. What did they ever do to deserve it? But the numbers don’t have faces; they just have a string of zeros on the end and some relating facts: they are easy to forget. Its Africa after all, they die over there all the time. The news story will end and our life will move past it.

But will their life move past this drought? Will they expire with their food supply? Why would God let this happen? I don’t know. I’ve been studying the suffering in the book of Job and finding it to be an amazing time.

The theology of Job’s comforters was as follows: God rewards righteousness and punishes sin. Job is being punished, therefore he must have sinned. In studying the book of Job we see that Job did not sin, and thus the theology of the comforters is wrong. A theology truly reflective of the book of Job could go like this: “God punishes and rewards as he pleases, he is God. It stinks to be Job.” There are factors and events which we cannot see, but which affect us. For Job is was a wager by God on how loyal Job really was. We must simply accept what seems like injustice, and cry out to God for mercy in hope that he will change the things that only he can see.

This starvation is one of those events in which some supernatural arrangement is being played out on dusty plains. Have these 11 million committed some group sin worthy of punishment? I hardly think that the child in the picture deserves anything but the food he begs for. But we should become beggars on his behalf, begging God to send relief. Jesus came to proclaim freedom for the captives not just in a spiritual way but also in a physical way. Christ was an extension of God’s character. God can bring rain, hope, and a future to east Africa. And if we care at all, we will ask Him on their behalf.

Weddings and walking

So much has happened and I’ve written so little.

The wedding went well: The couple got married, the food didn’t run out, and I took lots of pictures. Then I loaded my car and pointed it south for a backpacking trip. Winter/spring backpacking is almost a different sport than summer backpacking. The forecasted 58 temps turned out to be 38. What was a 30% chance of rain became 100% chance of rain and ice. Fortunately the rain came at night, and the ice wasn’t thick. All of this suffering makes summer seem like a good idea.

Have skills, but none that pay.

It's almost break, I'm one 50min class away from feb. break. But what a break it will be. I've just landed a job taking pictures for a freind of a freind's wedding. Except they got me because pro's over charge, and I don't (charge). It should be cool. I only have to learn a Digital Rebel in 24hrs, shoot a wedding, and help them print online. What could possibly go wrong? I'll chill at the Mast's for a night or two and then go home. Adventuer 29537 and I are going to get together an plan a secret operation which I can't expound on here.

So after I've helped the folks remeber their wedding, and planned my thingy, I'm off for the AT with another YES group (www.needssalt.org). I need to plan a route and some trail side programing in one and a half days. And then, Bam! I'm back in the H-hood expanding my mind. But right now I'm wondering: "when will I see my family?"

I've also started signing my name with an exclamation mark. It's more exciting that way.

-Kevin!

Downloading my life onto an iPod.

There seems to be extreems on campus. Hot and cold. It seems to never stop snowing. The snowplows must wear down the sidewalks eventually. Thats the cold. In the pool it is rather warm. I spent almost three hours in there today. All my classes got cancled for friday so I'm just shootin the breeze. Maybe I'll work ahead for next week.

For those of you deeply engrossed in the life of Sir Heater, he has had some trouble. For almost a week he was silent, and we feared the worst. But today he returned, his joyful self, hot tempered as can be.

I watched the movie "southbounder" today. It's a movie about the AT. They did a great job making the AT come alive. Hippy hikers, pot smokeing, rainy days, and ben style hiking. But they missed the whole point of why the trail is great. You will have to watch it to find out what they focused on.

Time

Photo: Pocket watch of an Ozark greenhouse owner

Nature’s way of measuring the passage of existence is cycles. Everything has a cycle. There is the cycle of seasons with their indistinct starting and ending points. There is the cycle of a day which is a bit more defined. In a more abstract way the cycle of life is always continuing. Animals reproduce and die in a cycle that continues until interrupted by humans.

So what is time? Long before Copernicus the human mind had taken the earth’s cycles and divided them into segments that the present would march through; thus the creation of time. So now our centuries are broken into decades. Our decades are broken into years, which are broken into months, weeks, days, hours, and minuets. As if that isn’t enough we slice our minuets even thinner into seconds, and beyond. This is all fine and grand for the synchronization of society, but what about understanding eternity? Before time was created, existence happened in the midst of eternity. It still does, we just don’t see it that way. We come to passages about God’s eternal existence as the uncreated creator, or the infiniteness of our presence in Heaven and it blows our mind. What if time had never been created? What if time had been invented from a different planet? Our year might be a different length! But ultimately, none of this really matters. Cycles or days, it goes by the same.

The Great Divorce

This is my attempt to be both Tolkin and C.S. Lewis while talking about Western New York's weather. Enjoy

Something that has always been, is no more. I see it all around me. The cycles and forces that once controlled the earth have been shaken. A union that once was once strong, has been dissolved. A season is being dissolved. The marriage between Mother Nature and Old Man Winter has been broken.

The lives of ordinary men are being drawn into this extra-physical conflict as the earth around them thaws and the snow is melted. What has been done, they can not undo. They are powerless to act on the controls of their world. They wait, hoping that all will resolve it’s self without their involvement.

The world is subjected to a harsh chill as part of Mother Nature’s cycles. For centuries the cycle was never broken. And that chill that once was, had only to do with Old Man Winter’s presence at the controls. But he has been expelled, and winter with him. Now there is a warming. The cold has lost, and winter is warm.

Winter? Is that you?

I feel my facial hair freeze and I’m only 50yards from the dorm: it’s that cold. For so long it was warm; a happy radiant warm. But that is radiance. Winter has come. An ever thickening layer of powder swirls around in the air. It’s a magical snow, the kind that draws you to sit by the windows for lunch. It sneaks from the sky when I’m in class, adding layers without my permission. When I hike in the woods it lies very still. I walk through the silence around a corner and it pounces. I hunch over to ward off its attack. But through all its rebellious violence we are still friends. We have an understanding. It is always welcome on campus, but not allowed in the dorm. It has tried a few times, but always been frightened off by Sir Heater.

Sir Heater is a relic and this campus thrives on technology. We all have laptops. I can find a high speed wireless internet connection anywhere on campus. Doors open when I scan my ID card. I can read the menu from my room, check my chapel attendance, or learn how to set up my individual voice mail box. But Sir Heater is from the 80s, and he doesn’t do such a great job. There have been maintenance requests, but he still sleeps cold at night. He complained to me this afternoon: “It’s so ironic, they can network and fix anything with a mother board, but they don’t fix my pipes.” Sad but true, the days of Sir Heater appear to be gone.

Friend, Romantic Interest, and Inspiration

Up until now I have been mainly silent about my relational pursuits of the opposite gender, and for good reason: It is none of your business! But I have decided that since she is a part of my life I will share a slice of our relationship with you.

She is Sarah: intelligent, respectful, and God fearing. "A cut above the rest" in another's words.

In my ideology dating for sport is playing with emotions for the sake of getting high. She seems to think the same. When I asked her if she would date me she said "what do you mean by dating?" And so we are pursing a relationship with marriage as an ideal goal.

But there is a distance factor involved. We started in Dec. 2004. I started YES in Jan for a 6month commitment. A month after I returned she left for 12 months of REACH. In our first 19 months of dating, all are spent out of state, 12 are spent on different continents. A bad thing? Only if you look at it that way.

Our relationship doesn’t bear the normal emotional excitement that most have. Instead of seeing it as a bad thing we use it as a catalyst for relational growth. We use the distance and the lack of emotional distraction to help us get to know each other. We write letters about real life: the life we live being our normal self. In writing letters you scribe what is exciting and stimulating about your life. In that way we see who each other are; when the other isn't around. She knows how I spend my free time, and I know what her house mates do that annoys her.

I may sound like I'm turning a relationship into a formula, however you take it, it's my blog and I say what I want. I really haven't detached my emotions for Sarah. She is an amazing woman. Inside her heart is an wonderful commitment to God, a commitment strong enough to choose teaching school over being near her boyfriend. She tries things she is afraid of. She tells me about my faults when I don't face them. And she encourages me to do the same. In my estimation, she is amazing, and she inspires me.

The Show that never ends

Close your eyes for a moment. Imagine you are sitting in a high school auditorium: front row. It is completely dark. You can feel the presence of the other drama goers. Whispers sneak from backstage. Then the curtain rattles into the wings and the lights glow on the stage. Strangers prance about cardboard structures which strangely resemble walls or bookshelves. It is drama. The plot thickens. Characters are developed. Ultimately the events climate and resolve.

Then you blink. The glow of the TV flickers on the wall behind you. Your butt sinks into the same spot on your worn out couch. Bed time is past, but the lure of your friends is strong. They only talk from 11:00 to 11:30. Their set resembles the everyday living room, and their life is so funny! The laughter of people comes through their windows and through your TV. You laugh too, you like watching them.

Then you blink. The set has changed. The laughter and the cardboard sets are gone, everything looks real. The characters are genuine. The lighting is hidden somewhere beyond a total surround sound system. It is almost as if you are Lucy and have pushed past the last coat discovering Narnia. The cold wind rattles the trees. Snow flurries drift across the set. Or is it a set?

This is what I watch while I stump sitting. It is a show that never stops. The main character is a squirrel named “Quick-Toes”. The plot centers around his quest to visit neighbors and maintain the security of the nuts he has stored in Pine Tree #8, a high security nut storage area. His theatre has certain etiquette. The show only starts after everyone is seated and quiet. I didn’t have a good seat today. The show moved down the hill to Half-tail’s hollow log. (Half-Tail is the uncle of Quick-Toes named after a mishap with a hawk) I couldn’t quite see what was going on, but there was a great deal of noise and a pine cone. This isn’t the first time Half-Tail and Quick-Toes have gone at…..well, you really need to see the show to understand.

Learning outside the box (we call it a classroom)

Down and dirty

Liberal arts is boring. Who wants to sit in class trying to catch the gems that fall from the lips of the intellectual? After four years of this they put a funny hat on you and off you go. Then you move on to the real world and try to apply the skills that you acquired.

Somehow, I feel like I am not a liberal art student, sure I'm enrolled at a Liberal arts college. But I'm a Recreation student, and for some reason it seems like a different world. I'm not tortured by professors: I like going to class. It seems like all we do in class is have fun. The saying in the Rec. dept. is "take something you like to do and find a way to get paid to do it." So that's what we do, and the teachers get paid. No text books, no formalities, and lots of assignments. I was working on an assignment today: I was stump sitting and hiking. I have required hours for both activities. Latter on I'll make snow shelters, cook on a rock, and build fires without matches. For me, that isn't liberal arts, that's life at it's best.

.Edu

Right now I could be on a smoky bus filled with chicken catchers. But I'm not, I'm expanding my mind and surrounding myself with exciting individuals in a process that is known as a "liberal arts education" So far I haven't met any exciting individuals or expanded my mind. I did however meet an old High School friend (Joel Bru) who didn't know went here. Maybe more exciting individuals will arive when campus fills up and classes will stimulate my intellect.

Most of us write off the book of Job. I have a whole class on the book. In preperation, and out of boardom I read the first 15 chapters. It is amazing! Job asks some hard questions: "Why does God treat me unjustly?" "Why can't I talk to God and tell Him that He has made a horrible mistake?" It's a must read. I personally like the character "Billidad" who promotes the "just God" theology saying "God is always just".

I have a window in my room. If I look out the window I see stuff. I see some trees, a canadian hemlock, and a guard rail. So far the guard rail hasn't been very social with the trees. He sits by the road with a steel look. The trees, on the other hand, have a great time. They sway a bit in the wind and wave to eachother. The hemlock has an ego problem, he is the only green one of the bunch.

But the window is better used if you reverse the direction of viewing. Try looking in instead of out. Most windows are like that. Have you ever looked out of your neighbors living room window? All you see is your house, which is equal to "boring". But try looking in your neighbor's living room window. Yeah! its a lot more interesting. Its the same with my dorm room. I'm doing stuff and don't know you are watching. Who knows, you might catch me making my bed or organizing my closet. Ever see a tree do that? Maybe I'll mount a wireless web cam on that hemlock so you can all look in my window 24/7. I'll bet people would pay for that kind of excitement. I would be like "The trueman show" with me as the star!

It's like opening a Christmas gift, everytime.

This green font is a tribute to our friends at WM (waste management) and their green goody bins. From time to time I find myself in one of these bins ripping open piles of "gift bags" filled with presents for me. This week we came home with $500 worth of flower bulbs. Asher and I spent a good part of monday planting them around the house. I wish I could be around here when those two bushels of tulip bulbs turn our back yard into an explosion of color.
I've been a bit dissapointed with the meat situation around here. The temps have risen into the mid 40s, and there hasn't been any big hauls. Maybe we could convince the grocer to overstock steak like he did in Columbus.

Movin' on

My Grandma saw her last sun set on Chrstmas eve and met her Maker on Christmas day. The cancer that she had fought for months finally took her away. I drove to Del. with some of my family on thursday for the funeral. It was a fun and sad time for the cousins. There was the normal joking. The Aunts made sure we understood one thing: no explosives in the coffin. The grave side scene seemed like it was right out of a sad movie. The blue gray sky blew rain on people huddled around a grave with umbrellas and trench coats. Everyone cried as we shoveled dirt into the grave. And just like that, Grandma was gone.

While death is hard, it will allow some normacy in my family. Her illness took a lot of energy from my mom, and it left the home without much structure.

Anyone out there?

I've been wondering how many people actually visit this blog. So for next 7 days (until Dec. 30) if you visit, please leave a comment with your first name. If you want, tell what you liked best about the blog or a story about me and you.

A wild Goose chase?

So I started a new job. It is kind of a wild goose chase, except I don’t chase geese. I’m after chickens, and lots of them. Being at home for a while made me decide to try something new and exciting. In my case “new and exciting” means working 3^rd shift catching chickens. It is everything you could imagine and more. We catch chickens; way more than you would imagine. They guys I work with are rough. They have managed to integrate the same profanity into every sentence. I didn’t know an expletive could be made into a noun, verb, and an adjective. It is just proof that the English language is in a constant state of evolution. And I get paid. You would think that something as simple as catching chickens would pay $5/hr. But no, I get about $120 (gross) a night and spend 1/3 of the night sitting on the bus.

A wedding and a bumper

Yet another cousin has married off. This time it was Sim marrying Janelle. We had to go the whole way out to Middlebury IN for the wedding, but it was well worth it. The wedding was a simple, sacred, and really fun time. I rode with Sim to the wedding, except that he missed a turn and hit a fence before he got out of the lane. While I’m sure he wasn’t happy about it at the moment, give him ten years and it will be a good laugh. With the broken off bumper we took up a collection at the wedding for repairs: that $ will do a little for the front right corner of his Mercedes.